OUTDATED RULES FOR HAPPINESS
Not obeying my rules of life.
As I age, I see that the rules that apply to me don't apply to my family anymore. The rules saved a lot of talking from my parents. I'm not explaining how the world works. I don't want to ruin your Independence. Some of the rules are easy and some of them are hard.
“Maybe” is not a word anymore. When my family asked me to come to their house at a certain time and a certain day, They don't understand a “maybe”. They just want a “yes or no”. They can't realize that it depends on my circumstances. At least I don't tell them "I don't know if I can”. That would replace my “maybe”.
Work with what you have. When something is broken, you don't throw it away. You repair it with the tools at hand.
When someone says hello, you say hello right back to them.This opens a conversation that you might have with the person that created you first. It might be to your advantage. Small talk is precious talk.
When you don't like the company, say “Sorry, I got to go” This is a good escape mechanism to move on to other places my friends away.
If you're going to con me, don't let me know ahead of time.
Suspicious behavior is always recognized by parents
Never stand in front of a TV with a football game on. There's always somebody who wants to see the touchdown coming in the next minute.
Never leave the bathroom without thinking of the word Flush. Someone is just outside the door waiting to enter. If it's a girl, add to words toilet seat down. Especially if she's your girlfriend.
If you had a big burp, put your hand by your mouth and say excuse me. You never know what might protect from your mouth and where is lands..
It's okay to scream at the Lions football game, but not at my dinner table. This behavior puts you on the opposing team.
It's okay to take your shirt off at the beach, but never your trunks.
The viewers may be surprisingly disappointed.
It's okay t.o hug your mom, but not your waitress.
She may have her beloved boyfriend waiting in the car.
Don't get ticked off if someone doesn't answer you.
It may be that they don't want to hear you.
A funny looking apple may really be a peach.
Everyone with long hair is not necessarily a girl.
Don't make me go over time explaining the rules of life.
You will hear the rule over and over again. I am not one to give up nor shut up.
Things can look more beautiful if you look closer at them.
A polite way of saying:“Open your eyes and look at people.”
Hold on to your pants.
Quit playing with the tiny pop spot on your pants.
Only take them off if your doctor or girlfriend says.
A person laughing does not necessarily like you.
Sometimes people laugh to hurt you.
When asked to do something unpleasant or wrong,
say "I'll think about it.”
This gives the person time to forget the bad idea.
“I'll be a little late” can be misunderstood.
Perhaps it means “I am not coming.”
Don't use a lot of words when one word is enough.
Get to the point and answer “yes or no”.
Everything not useful does not have to be tossed away.
That Detroit Tiger cap might someday be precious
Open your junk box carefully, something may just jump out.
Perhaps a dried land crab, or some wiggly creature.
Knock before you open a bathroom door.
Your sister will realize that you finally have grown up.
If someone wants to be alone, agree with them.
Sorry, I have to go now. See you later.
Saying ’ I'll do it means “you must do it”
No “ands ,ifs,or buts.
If you want something, ask you if you can try it.
Waiting for your turn can prove exciting.
Some people don't know who they are or where they are.
Most pretend they know everything and keep talking forever.
Pick very carefully if you can only choose one.
It might be your soulmate until death do you part.
Leaving something out it's not lying.
Any politician will verify that statement.
Answer a troubling question by asking a question.
Switching topics keeps your conversation going.
Add to word just to diffuse importance. Is he your lover?
No, just a friend from work.
Are your parents divorced?
No, they're just separated taking a break from each other.
Why are you crying?
To get your attention.
Why are you screaming?
to get my share of everything
Why are you putting that in your mouth?
If it fits in my mouth it has to be food.
Someone's upset. No time to bring up my problems.
Must stick to the topic at hand. No distractions.
Want to change the subject? Take a quick detour in your talking.
How would you like to go to the buffet table?
A problem solved can create another problem.
Friendship often leads to marriage.
When things get tough, time to make a joke.
When I laugh I can't cry.
Safe to dance in the dark when you are home alone.
Practice makes perfect.
Quit following me wherever I go.
Unless you're just playing games.
When I'm being teased, take my side.
Then we can stay friends.
Quit saying mean things like “my cat likes me better”.
I don't even own a cat.
Sometimes I get to choose what we will do and sometimes you get to decide.
See, everything is give and take.
When I ask you to go out with me, say yes sometimes.
You can say no to yourself.
Quit hogging the computer or the TV.
Sharing is important.
just ask me why I'm upset.
Then you will start listening to me.
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